Why supporting parents is key to improving children’s mental health

My personal journey has been one of resilience and determination. It’s this journey that led me to establish Holding Space, an award-winning East Sussex-based charity that offers parent/carer peer support to families whose children and young people are experiencing mental and/or emotional health difficulties.

The catalyst for creating the charity was the distinct lack of support I faced as a mum dealing with my daughter’s mental health struggles. As a parent, I felt like a failure; I was meant to protect my daughter. Yet, I had no one who could help. I couldn’t share my concerns with friends or colleagues; I felt so alone. Parenting does not come with a bible and we often feel judged. We think everyone else has got it right and are perfect parents!

In 2019, I set up a Facebook page, hoping there was an understanding shoulder to cry on. The response was incredible. Parents started sharing their stories, and it was clear there was a critical gap in support. Holding Space was born out of this need. Almost seven years later, I lead a charity supporting over 1,400 families across Sussex. But the need is clear and continues to grow.

"I wish Holding Space existed when I needed it."

Hansa Raja, Founder of Holding Space

The vision of Holding Space is a world where no parent feels they have to navigate their child’s mental health journey alone. Our goal is to ensure that every parent and carer across Sussex feels heard, supported, and confident in navigating their children's emotional and mental health challenges.

Our mission is to support and empower parents and ensure that they have the tools and knowledge to support their children. Early intervention is crucial to the mental health of future generations.

The need in Sussex

Across Sussex, over 7,000 children and young people wait for mental health assessments, with the average wait time in East Sussex for an intervention being two to three years. The consequences of this are evident: East Sussex hospital admissions for self-harm during 2023 were significantly worse than the England average and in the 25% worst percentile.

These challenges are also highlighted in Sussex Community Foundation’s recent Improving Health report, which found that young people in disadvantaged areas of the county are more likely to experience overlapping challenges, including high levels of caring responsibility, disability and mental health need.

The issues we hear from parents are varied, from anxiety and self-harm to waiting for assessments for autism diagnosis or school struggles. The emotional and practical impact is profound; parents feel inadequate and unsupported by statutory services. Many are forced to give up work to care for their child, which impacts family finances.

Supporting the whole family

When parents feel empowered, seen, listened to and connected, they are better able to support their children and look after their own wellbeing. Early intervention and support are crucial and we must do more to support families.

Funding, however, remains a constant challenge. Many charities are facing similar pressures, having to reduce their services or close. The voluntary sector is bridging gaps created by funding cuts and pressure on statutory services. To provide the best support and care for our communities, we need to embrace partnerships and co-production, ensuring that professionals, funders and those with lived experience work collaboratively.

My passion for supporting parents and carers extends to my consultancy, which offers workshops to businesses on “Why Supporting Parents and Carers in the Workplace Matters”. As a single mum, I know firsthand the struggles of balancing work and caregiving. When my daughter was in crisis, I had no choice but to leave my job to support her. This experience highlighted the urgent need for greater employer understanding during personal and family crises.

Charities like Holding Space exist so that no parent has to face these challenges alone, but meaningful change requires working together. By bridging the gap between lived experience and community support, we have an opportunity to build a Sussex where every parent feels empowered and every child is given the chance to thrive.

Find out more about working with Hansa, the workshops or the charity.

A day in the life of a small charity

Suzanne Procter, Principal at Dementia Singing Experience Sussex, gives us a unique glimpse into their mission as a small charity, what a typical day is like for her and her team, and the difference they're making for those affected by dementia and their carers.

Who are Dementia Singing Experience Sussex (DSES)?

We take structured and interactive singing, activity and craft sessions into community day care centres and care homes, supporting those living with dementia and offering respite opportunities for carers. From very small beginnings as a not-for-profit organisation back in 2014, we have expanded from one session per week to at least 30 sessions per month. We have also been a registered charity since 2019.

How long have you been with DSES?

I have been working with the charity for coming up to 10 years. I became involved with DSES after experiencing the decline of my Auntie, who was living with dementia from the age of 64. She used to love it when I would visit and sing songs to her, she would come alive and become the Auntie that I always remembered. This really struck a chord with me. As a performer I realised that maybe there was something I could be doing to help those living with this dreadful condition.

What’s a typical day like for you and your team?

A typical day at DSES involves gathering all props, costumes and a speaker and heading out to one of our care homes/centres to lead an hour session in the morning and another hour in the afternoon. We arrive, set everything up and introduce ourselves to everyone in the room. It's important we make sure we know the names of every client to make the experience more personal. During the sessions, we use fun props, crazy costumes and make sure we keep everyone moving and as active as they possibly can for the full hour.

Can you share a story of how your charity has directly impacted someone's life?

The most wonderful part of our sessions is when a client arrives silent, unresponsive with their heads down and eyes closed, and they leave awake, smiling, talking, laughing and still tapping their feet along to the music they have just heard. It can be a challenge working with those clients who are towards the end of their dementia journey, but we do include everyone as much as we can whatever their condition.

Recently, one of the clients, who hadn’t spoken for three months, attended his first session with us. He arrived asleep but, as our session progressed, he began tapping his feet, singing and even dancing. It was a joy to behold! His wife, who was visiting at the time, was in tears, as were we!

What are the challenges you face, being a small organisation?

As a small charity, one of the challenges we face is securing funding. It is a constant battle but one we attempt to remain positive about.

What impact do you feel you have in the wider community?

Our charity is unique because we interact with everyone, we learn everyone’s names and make sure that no-one is left out. We don’t just stand at the front and sing, we engage and communicate, trying to share our positivity not just with the clients, but the staff too. It is like one huge family!

Dementia Singing Experience Sussex brings interactive singing and craft sessions into day care centres and care homes across Sussex, supporting those living with dementia and their carers. Find out more about the work they do on their website.

Dementia Singing Experience Sussex recently received a grant from the Foundation under the Improving Health funding priority.